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Lessons From The Little Grammarian

Fri, 17 May 2013 00:04:44 +0000

In the early decades of the 19th century, the most popular grammar textbook was Lindley Murray's English Grammar Adapted to the Different Classes of Learners (1795). It sold millions of copies, ran through countless editions, and bored the life out of several generations of American and British schoolchildren.

In a lecture delivered in 1868, J.M.D. Meicklejohn (also a textbook writer) accused Lindley Murray of "taking all the pith and marrow out of the English language":

As for grammar, . . . one might think that some intellectual Herod had been the compiler of most of the published treatises; and that his object was the hopeless bewildering of youthful brains, and the final snuffing out of youthful intellectual light. Yet even grammar might be made full of what artists call colour, if we chose to study the best way of setting it forth. Certainly that way is not to be found in Lindley Murray; with his dull rules rattling against the mind, like dry bones; without a morsel of flesh to cover their anatomy.
("Plain English." Reprinted in All the Year Round, August 8, 1868)

Meicklejohn went on to say that, as a maker of "grammars meant not to be understood," Murray was responsible for the "headaches, confusion of mind, moral prostration, and personal disgrace" experienced by students throughout the English-speaking world.

The familiar challenge facing educators was to make the teaching of English "palatable and of easy digestion." Or as the Reverend William Fletcher had put it decades earlier, "to remove some of the thorns, briers, and rugged obstacles from the path of learning, that the tender feet of little ones may seldom have occasion to complain of the roughness of their way."

A teacher at Woodbridge Grammar School in Suffolk County, England, Fletcher set out to translate Lindley Murray's basic concepts ("too uninteresting to please in their crude and undigested form") into fables that would appeal to "such little masters and misses as might wish to be amused and instructed at the same time." The result was The Little Grammarian; or, An Easy Guide to the Parts of Speech, and Familiar Illustrations of the Leading Rules of Syntax: In a Series of Instructive and Amusing Tales (1828).

For the most part, the reverend's narrative method was to embed principles of grammar in lessons of piety and virtue. But on occasion he would startle his young readers with abrupt acts of violence and elements of the grotesque--as demonstrated by "The Robber and Little Ann," an odd parable about definite and indefinite articles. (The italics are Fletcher's.)

Some few years back, a poor man, living on one of the moors in the North of England, whilst busily employed in cutting turf, was cruelly beaten by an impious man, because he would not give him his watch and the little money he had in his pocket; indeed, so much was he injured, that he had only strength to crawl home on his hands and feet.

His little girl (about three years old) had been to visit him at his work as usual, and was asleep on a bed of heath at the time her father was attacked; but his cries awoke her just in time to catch a sight of the barbarous thief, as he turned away from the mangled and almost lifeless body of her parent. Poor little Ann cried most bitterly as she assisted her poor father in his efforts to reach home, which, after more than an hour's toil, he accomplished.

Now poor Ann's father was an honest industrious man, and much respected by his neighbours; therefore every one did all in his power to aid and assist him during his sickness. In the course of a month, he was able to limp from the bed to the fire-side, but he never recovered the entire use of his limbs, so cruelly he had been used by the wicked man on the moor. He could no longer carry the turf he cut; but an ass, given him by a friend, did that part of his toil for him, so that perhaps in the end, we might say, he was not a very great loser by his misfortune.

Well, a year or two passed away, and the barbarous thief remained undiscovered, when it happened, that on little Ann's return, one evening, from a public house, where she had been to carry home some work that her mother had done for the mistress of the house, she rushed into her father's hut in great affright, and called out, as she swooned away, "I have seen the man"; more she could not say for tears and faintness.

Her parents at first thought some man had frightened her on the road, as the evening was rather dark, and begged her to tell them who it was, but still she could not speak for terror and alarm. At length, her mother said to her husband, "Did you not hear her say the man? If she had said a man, I should have thought some silly fellow or other had been playing tricks with the child. Surely, John, she has not seen the man who lamed and robbed you?"

"I have, I have, mother," said little Ann, for her faintness was then nearly over; "and, if you run fast, you will see him at the Plough: he had just then paid his reckoning and was about to leave, when I ran home as fast as I could to tell you. Pray make haste, for I am sure you will be in time to take him."

The consequence was, that John hastened to the Plough as fast as his crippled limbs would enable him, and arrived there just in time to recognize and secure the man who had assaulted and robbed him, before he departed. The man was taken to prison; and in a few months received his trial, and was sent from England for life, to repent himself in toil in a distant land for the crimes he had wrought in his own.

Now, had little Ann used a instead of the in her alarm, the thief would have escaped before she had been able to tell her parents what she really meant: hence learn the great difference between a or an and the.

How effective was this curious tale in teaching "the great difference" between definite and indefinite articles? There's no way of knowing. Unlike Murray's English Grammar, Fletcher's Little Grammarian wasn't a bestseller, and the author never published a sequel.

But I am certain of two things. Many teachers still labor to convey the rudiments of grammar in ways that are "palatable and of easy digestion." And concocting lessons that are instructive and amusing at the same time remains a difficult job.

More Language Lessons From the 19th Century:

Lessons From The Little Grammarian originally appeared on About.com Grammar & Composition on Friday, May 17th, 2013 at 00:04:44.

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Skunked Terms, Serial Verbs, and Quantifier Floating: There's a Name for It (#25)

Wed, 15 May 2013 00:04:19 +0000

In our ever-expanding Glossary of Grammatical and Rhetorical Terms, you'll find a name for . . .

a sentence pattern containing two corresponding phrases or clauses, each one headed by the and expressing a comparative (the X-er . . . the X-er or the X-er . . . the Y-er): comparative correlative

the syntactic process by which a subject-related quantifier (all, both, or each) can be separated from the subject and appear in more than one place in a sentence: quantifier floating

the rhetorical practice of asking oneself a question and then immediately answering it: anthypophora

verbs that occur together in a single verb phrase (e.g., "I'll run go get a taxi") without a marker of coordination or subordination: serial verbs

a word (such as hopefully or media) that has undergone a marked change from one use to another and is likely to be the subject of dispute: skunked term

a construction in which an independent word has the same role as an inflection (such as the use of the auxiliary will with another verb to form the future tense): periphrastic

the "literaturization" of rhetoric: a shift in focus from public speaking to writing, from acts of persuasion to works of literature: letteraturizzazione

a response (in spoken English and informal writing) made up of a subject and an auxiliary verb or modal (e.g., "I do"): short answer

More Words About Words:

Skunked Terms, Serial Verbs, and Quantifier Floating: There's a Name for It (#25) originally appeared on About.com Grammar & Composition on Wednesday, May 15th, 2013 at 00:04:19.

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Spellbound

Mon, 13 May 2013 00:04:17 +0000

During the period of Middle English (that is, after Beowulf but before Shakespeare), the word spelling referred to the process of reading a book or casting a spell (Hogwarts fashion). In fact, the act of reading was commonly described as "spelling a book."

Even today, English spelling seems to have an affinity with the dark arts. Who but a wizard, after all, could explain how the same sound (for instance, the vowel sound in she) can be represented by so many different combinations of letters (bee, key, ski, sea, field, and people--just for starters)?

There are numerous explanations for the eccentricities of our spelling system: the sometimes quirky adaptation of the Latin alphabet to serve English, the competing influences of countless foreign languages, and, rather mysteriously, the Great Vowel Shift of the 15th and 16th centuries.

Then there's the fact that until the mid-1600s, when spelling was standardized in the first English dictionaries, orthography was pretty much a free-for-all. According to evidence gathered in The Oxford English Dictionary, if you had been around in 1600 to send holiday greetings to Shakespeare, you might have spelled merry in any of 30 different ways--including muri, miri, myry, meary, merrye, meri, and mere.

The vagaries of English spelling and pronunciation are delightfully illustrated in a 274-line poem composed early last century by a Dutch schoolmaster, Dr. Gerard Nolst Trenité. Try reading aloud the opening lines of "The Chaos":

Dearest creature in Creation,
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;
So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer.

Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word.
Sword and sward, retain and Britain
(Mind the latter, how it's written!)
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say-said, pay-paid, laid, but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak,
Say break, steak, but bleak and streak.
Previous, precious, fuchsia, via;
Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,
Cloven, oven; how and low;
Script, receipt; shoe, poem, toe.

For the complete poem, see "The Chaos" by Charivarius.

And to learn more about English spelling and pronunciation, don (not dawn or done or dun) your wizard's hat and visit these pages:

Spellbound originally appeared on About.com Grammar & Composition on Monday, May 13th, 2013 at 00:04:17.

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"When DIY Becomes OMG": Introducing Juxtanyms

Fri, 10 May 2013 00:04:33 +0000

I don't know who coined the terms homonym, pseudonym, or synonym (all based on the Greek word for "name"). But I'm pleased to be able to tell you the name of the scholar who came up with the term juxtanym. Full credit goes to Colin Budka, a student in Ms. Stacy Milboer's Advanced Placement Language and Composition class at Manalapan High School in New Jersey.

So what is a juxtanym? In a recent email, Ms. Milboer was kind enough to tell me the story.

I had my students create a name for a form of parallel structure based on acronyms, initialisms, and/or texting abbreviations, where the parallelism might not necessarily exist if the words were used in their entirety. This would most likely be found in advertisements but certainly not in formal writing. The project was inspired by, of all things, a Roto-Rooter billboard near our school. The advertising slogan on the billboard is as follows: "When DIY becomes OMG . . .."

As part of the project, my students have since come up with many other original examples including, "Go to MIT for a PhD," "I bought this SUV for its MPG," and "My BFF made me LOL." In total, students submitted 86 original terms. Originality was determined via checking the OED and the Internet to confirm that their choices were not in use in some other context.

After an initial vote to narrow from 86 to 4, my students voted along with the English department, the supervisors, and the building administrators for a winning term. We selected juxtanym as the noun form (submitted by my student, Colin Budka); juxtanymic would be the adjective form. We are hoping that our term will eventually catch on among language lovers. Given the popularity--for better or worse--of brief communication such as that found on Twitter, we may be seeing "juxtanym" more often.

I'll soon be adding juxtanym to the Glossary of Grammatical and Rhetorical Terms. In the meantime, a heartfelt TU 2 Ms. Milboer, and best wishes to Colin and his classmates, who on May 10 are taking the AP in the A.M.

More About -nyms:

"When DIY Becomes OMG": Introducing Juxtanyms originally appeared on About.com Grammar & Composition on Friday, May 10th, 2013 at 00:04:33.

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Combining and Revising Sentences With Absolutes (Part Six)

Wed, 08 May 2013 00:02:24 +0000

Welcome to part six of our series on sentence combining. The focus this month is on combining and revising sentences with absolutes--word groups that modify entire sentences.

As usual, the "sample answers" at the end are just that--examples of satisfactory combinations and revisions. In some cases, other correct answers are possible.

Turning a Main Clause Into an Absolute
Convert the second main clause (in italics) into an absolute by changing the verb squeal into a present participle (that is, an -ing form).

The train rolls more slowly now.
Its metal wheels squeal as they spin along the silver tracks.

Turning a Main Clause Into an Absolute
Convert the second main clause into an absolute by omitting the auxiliary verb were.

Out of the rainbow a squadron of jack snipe suddenly banked and veered in perfect formation.
Their white wing patches were flashing.

Creating and Arranging Absolutes
Combine the two sentences below by turning the second main clause into an absolute and placing it in front of the first sentence.

William walked in the icy air to Luke's Luncheonette.
His hair was still wet from the shower.

Creating and Arranging Absolutes
Combine the two sentences below by turning the first main clause into an absolute and placing it in front of the second sentence.

Jimbo's right arm was encased in a cast.
Jimbo was forced to write the report with his left hand.

Revising Sentences With Absolutes
Rewrite the following sentence: begin your revised sentence with the main clause "The buildings sit empty"; then turn the rest of the sentence into an absolute construction.

Jagged pieces of glass stick out of the frames of the hundreds of broken windows in the buildings that sit empty.

Revising Sentences With Absolutes
Create two absolute phrases by eliminating the words in italics.

Odysseus comes to shore, and the skin is torn from his hands, and the sea water is gushing from his mouth and nostrils.

Sample Answers:

The train rolls more slowly now, its metal wheels squealing as they spin along the silver tracks.

Out of the rainbow a squadron of jack snipe suddenly banked and veered in perfect formation, their white wing patches flashing.

His hair still wet from the shower, William walked in the icy air to Luke's Luncheonette.

His right arm encased in a cast, Jimbo was forced to write the report with his left hand.

The buildings sit empty, jagged pieces of glass sticking out of the frames of the hundreds of broken windows.

Odysseus comes to shore, the skin torn from his hands, the sea water gushing from his mouth and nostrils.

More About Absolutes:

Practice in Building, Combining, and Revising Sentences:

Combining and Revising Sentences With Absolutes (Part Six) originally appeared on About.com Grammar & Composition on Wednesday, May 8th, 2013 at 00:02:24.

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Get the Name of the Dog and Sort Out the Peanuts: Ten Unconventional Writing Tips

Mon, 06 May 2013 00:02:28 +0000

Get on the Plane
"As a nonfiction writer you must get on the plane. If a subject interests you, go after it, even if it's in the next county or the next state or the next country. It's not going to come looking for you."
(William Zinsser, On Writing Well, 7th ed. HarperCollins, 2006)

Start Strong
"Here is the most underrated writing tip I know: when possible, make the subject of a sentence a person, a collection of persons, or a thing. When you choose a concept or some other intangible as a subject, you're generally forced into an awkward verb or, at best, the passive voice."
(Ben Yagoda, How to Not Write Bad. Riverhead Books, 2013)

Construct a Self
"To put it directly, the narrative 'I' is a fiction. This is not to say it is a lie. It is an emblem of a personality made up of elements that the author may in fact possess or may only aspire to. As in fiction, the 'I' of reportage is a constructed thing, a vast simplification of its creator. . . . To place yourself on the page is in part self-discovery, in part self-creation."
(Tracy Kidder and Richard Todd, Good Prose: The Art of Nonfiction. Random House, 2013)

Speak to Your Reader
"Visualize your reader and write specifically for that reader. Speaking directly to your reader may seem obvious, but this tenet is said to be one of the most overlooked aspects of effective writing."
(Joyce Lain Kennedy, Cover Letters For Dummies, 3rd ed. Wiley, 2009)

Outline Your Draft
"[B]riefly outline your rough draft. Making an outline after you have written the paper may seem odd, but this step is essential if you have written the first draft without devising and following a detailed plan. Jotting down your main ideas and supporting points at this stage in the process will enable you to review your essay quickly and easily. You can examine its skeleton and decide whether everything fits together properly.
(Susan Day, Robert Funk, and Elizabeth McMahan, Reading and the Writing Process. Macmillan, 1994)

Get the Name of the Dog
"At the St. Petersburg Times, editors and writing coaches warn reporters not to return to the office without 'the name of the dog.' That reporting task does not require the writer to use the detail in the story, but it reminds the reporter to keep her eyes and ears opened. . . . The good writer uses telling details, not only to inform, but to persuade."
(Roy Peter Clark, Writing Tools: 50 Essential Strategies for Every Writer. Little, Brown, 2006)

Use Punch Lines
"The same technique a comedian uses to make people laugh--careful setup and good punch line-- can help you write sentences people like to read. Start with material that is familiar, scene-setting, or unsurprising, and end with material that is new or detailed or surprising."
(Michael Harvey, The Nuts and Bolts of College Writing. Hackett Publishing, 2003)

Listen to the Music
"One of the most important things you can do to sharpen your style is to reawaken yourself to the sound of your words, to tune your ears to the rhythm and cadence and flow of your language. . . . [L]isten carefully to the music of your language, to the alternation of strong and weak elements in the rhythm of your words, and to the cadence of sound and silence in the flow of your sentences."
(Stephen Wilbers, Keys to Great Writing. Writer's Digest Books, 2000)

Sort Out the Peanuts
"Bad things happen when we unload our jam-packed thoughts like a box of Styrofoam peanuts. The box is emptied, and ah, that feels good for a moment. But the contents are all over the place. Controlled sentences--take a deep breath here--deliver precise language in an emphatic arrangement based on logic, economy and clarity, all to engage the reader. (Exhale.)"
(Arthur Plotnik, Spunk & Bite. Random House, 2005)

Stop
"A writing tip borrowed from Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland: When you come to the end, stop."
(Harry F. Wolcott, Writing Up Qualitative Research, 3rd ed. Sage, 2009)

More Advice on Writing:

Image: "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." (Oscar Wilde)

Get the Name of the Dog and Sort Out the Peanuts: Ten Unconventional Writing Tips originally appeared on About.com Grammar & Composition on Monday, May 6th, 2013 at 00:02:28.

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Ursula K. Le Guin on Style

Fri, 03 May 2013 00:03:11 +0000

In an article published 40 years ago, American author Ursula K. Le Guin had this to say about style, the most elusive quality of writing:

Many readers, many critics, and most editors speak of style as if it were an ingredient of a book, like the sugar in a cake, or something added onto the book, like frosting on the cake. The style, of course, is the book. If you remove the cake, all you have left is a recipe. If you remove the style, all you have left is a synopsis of the plot.

This is partly true of history; largely true of fiction; and absolutely true of fantasy.

In saying that the style is the book, I speak from the reader's point of view. From the writer's point of view, the style is the writer. Style isn't just how you use English when you write. It isn't a mannerism or an affectation (though it may be mannered or affected). It isn't something you can do without, though that is what people assume when they announce that they intend to write something "like it is." You can't do without it. There is no "is" without it. Style is how you as a writer see and speak. It is how you see: your vision, your understanding of the world, your voice.

This is not to say that style cannot be learned and perfected, or that it cannot be borrowed and imitated. We learn to see and speak, as children, primarily by imitation. The artist is merely the one who goes on learning after he grows up. If he is a good learner, he will finally learn the hardest thing: how to see his own world, how to speak in his own words.
(Ursula K. Le Guin, "From Elfland to Poughkeepsie," 1973. The Language of the Night: Essays on Fantasy and Science Fiction, ed. by Susan Wood. Ultramarine, 1980)

To learn more about this critically acclaimed writer of fantasy and science fiction, see Mark Wilson's interview with Ursula K. Le Guin (at About.com Sci-Fi/Fantasy) and Lauren Jankowski's biographical sketch (at About.com Women's History).

More About Style:

Image: Ursula K. Le Guin

Ursula K. Le Guin on Style originally appeared on About.com Grammar & Composition on Friday, May 3rd, 2013 at 00:03:11.

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Sucked Up by English: A Quiz on Loanwords

Wed, 01 May 2013 00:02:07 +0000

Linguist David Crystal has characterized English as "a vacuum-cleaner of a language": it has "sucked in words from over 350 other languages, and less than a quarter of its word-stock actually reflects its Germanic origins" (How Language Works, 2005).

Although the majority of English loanwords come from Greek and Latin (often by way of other European languages, especially French and Italian), over the centuries English has enriched its vocabulary without much regard for national origin.

This quiz will test your knowledge of where some of our words originated. Match the 12 words listed below with the languages they were "borrowed" from. (Cultural clues should make the task a little easier.) You'll find the answers at the end of the post.

Languages & Language Families
(a) Afrikaans, (b) Bantu, (c) Czech, (d) Dutch, (e) Finnish, (f) German, (g) Hawaiian Polynesian, (h) Icelandic, (i) Russian, (j) Sanskrit, (k) Scandinavian (Old Norse), (l) Scottish Gaelic

Loanwords

karma
window
poodle
ukulele
gumbo
mammoth
aardvark
robot
slogan
geyser
sauna
poppycock

Answers

(j) Sanskrit
(k) Scandinavian (Old Norse)
(f) German
(g) Hawaiian Polynesian
(b) Bantu
(i) Russian
(a) Afrikaans
(c) Czech
(l) Scottish Gaelic
(h) Icelandic
(e) Finnish
(d) Dutch

To learn more about the ways in which words have been sucked up by English, see Introduction to Etymology: Word Histories.

More About Loanwords:

Sucked Up by English: A Quiz on Loanwords originally appeared on About.com Grammar & Composition on Wednesday, May 1st, 2013 at 00:02:07.

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Texting, Americanisms, Amazon English�, and More Language in the News

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 00:01:33 +0000

It's time for our end-of-month roundup of language-related items in the news--from the linguistically profound to the lexically ridiculous.

Annals of Japery: Amazon Purchases English�
Amazon announced today that it has acquired the English language and plans to fully privatize the world's predominant mode of written communication. As of 6 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time April 1, anyone writing in Amazon's proprietary language, now known as English�, will be obligated to pay a "licensing fee" to the Seattle-based online retailer. . . . Read more
(Michael Bourne, "Amazon Announces Purchase of English�." The Millions, April 1, 2013)

The Battle Between British and American English
[I]t isn't just the Brits who dislike Americanisms in body text and headlines. . . . The complaints about this subject, are overwhelmingly not based on anti-American sentiment. They are nearly always couched in terms of clarity . . .. Read more
(Chris Elliott, "The Readers' Editor on . . . the Battle Between British and American English." The Guardian [UK], March 31, 2013)

Texting Is a Work in Progress
Texting properly isn't writing at all--it's actually more akin to spoken language. And it's a "spoken" language that is getting richer and more complex by the year. . . . Read more
(John McWhorter, "Is Texting Killing the English Language?" Time, April 25, 2013)

English in Other Languages
It's no secret that English borrows freely--steals, actually--from other languages. And you're probably familiar with at least a few words from English that have been borrowed into other languages--for instance, le weekend in French. But do you know just how much English words can be changed when they're taken on by other languages? . . . Read more
(James Harbeck, "How Foreign Languages Mutate English Words." The Week, April 10, 2013)

Gay Marriage and the Language of Love
English-language experts say how gay couples refer to themselves, and how others refer to same-sex couples, continues to evolve. . . . Read more
(Ari Shapiro, "Gay Marriage and the Evolving Language of Love." NPR, March 30, 2013)

The Futility of Legislating Language
English is not in need of any conservation or preservation. It is, in fact, flourishing. This is due, in part, to all the foreign words and phrases that English has borrowed and stolen over the centuries--including a substantial number of words brought by immigrants. . . . Read more
(Kory Stamper, "America's Fabulously Mongrel Language Is a Model of Immigration Reform." The Guardian [UK], April 21, 2013)

Top 10 English Words That Originated Overseas
As part of [a] new exhibition, The English Effect, which examines the impact the English language has had on other countries and cultures around the world, [the British Council has] revealed the top ten English words that didn't originate in Britain. . . . Read more
(Sarah Howell, "Dollar and Booze: English Words That Aren't Really English." New Statesman [UK], April 10, 2013)

Free Essay-Grading Software
Imagine taking a college exam, and, instead of handing in a blue book and getting a grade from a professor a few weeks later, clicking the "send" button when you are done and receiving a grade back instantly, your essay scored by a software program. . . . EdX, the nonprofit enterprise founded by Harvard and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology to offer courses on the Internet, has just introduced such a system and will make its automated software available free on the Web to any institution that wants to use it. . . . Read more
(John Markoff, "Essay-Grading Software Offers Professors a Break." The New York Times, April 4, 2013)

Translators on the Pitching Mound
Baseball has its own language, but the game is getting some help of a more human kind this season. Interpreters are being allowed to come to the mound to help managers and coaches communicate with their non-English-speaking pitchers. . . . Read more
(Toni Ginnetti, "Cubs Among Teams Using On-Field Interpreter to Bridge Language Barriers." Chicago Sun-Times, April 15, 2013)

Spelling Bee Contestants Now Need to Know Definitions
What does it all mean? That's the question facing spelling whizzes across the country, who learned Tuesday that they will have to know the definitions of some of the those tough words they've been memorizing in the dictionary. For the first time, multiple-choice vocabulary tests will be added to the annual Scripps National Spelling Bee. . . . Read more
(Joseph White, "Spelling Bee Kids Will Have to Know Definitions." The Boston Globe, April 10, 2013)

Back Issues of Language in the News:

Texting, Americanisms, Amazon English�, and More Language in the News originally appeared on About.com Grammar & Composition on Monday, April 29th, 2013 at 00:01:33.

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Latest Notes From the Lighter Side of Language

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 00:04:28 +0000

Every few months, when the lucubrations of linguists grow tedious and the cackles of language mavens turn painfully shrill, we slip across to the lighter side of language. Please join us.

The Lighter Side of Alliteration
"I love alliteration. I love, love, love it. Alliteration just makes everything sound fantastic. I genuinely can't think of anything with matching initials that I don't like: Green Goddess, Hemel Hempstead, Bum Bags, Monster Mash, Krispy Kreme, Dirty Dozen, Peter Purves, Est Est Est, the SS, World Wide Web, Clear Cache.

"My show would combine all that was good about its alliterative brothers listed above. It was to be called 'Daily Daytime Debate.' And as far as I was concerned that was absolutely final. I'd changed it once and I was not going to change it again.

"In the end, it was changed to 'Mid-Morning Matters.'"
(Alan Partridge, with Rob Gibbons, Neil Gibbons, Steve Coogan and Armanda Iannucci, I, Partridge: We Need To Talk About Alan. HarperCollins, 2011)

The Lighter Side of Exclamation Marks
Elaine: I was just curious why you didn't use an exclamation point.
Jake: What are you talking about?
Elaine: See, right here you wrote "Myra had the baby," but you didn't use an exclamation point. I mean if one of your close friends had a baby and I left you a message about it, I would use an exclamation point.
Jake: Well, maybe I don't use my exclamation points as haphazardly as you do.
(Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Jerry Stiller in "The Sniffing Accountant." Seinfeld, October 7, 1993)

The Lighter Side of Idiolects
"'Zerts are what I call desserts. Tray-trays are entrees. I call sandwiches sammies, sandoozles, or Adam Sandlers. Air conditioners are cool blasterz, with a z. I don't know where that came from. I call cakes big ol' cookies. I call noodles long-ass rice. Fried chicken is fri-fri chicky-chick. Chicken parm is chicky chicky parm parm. Chicken cacciatore? Chicky catch. I call eggs pre-birds or future birds. Root beer is super water. Tortillas are bean blankies. And I call forks . . . food rakes."
(Aziz Ansari as Tom Haverford in Parks and Recreation, April 22, 2011)

The Lighter Side of Metaphors
Aaron Sorkin: Listen, lady, . . . this is serious. We make horse buggies. The first Model T just rolled into town.
Liz Lemon: We're dinosaurs.
Aaron Sorkin: We don't need two metaphors. That's bad writing.
(Aaron Sorkin and Tina Fey in 30 Rock, March 25, 2011)

The Lighter Side of Prefixes and Puns
"If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?"
(Virginia Ostman, quoted by Laurence J. Peter in Peter's Quotations: Ideas for Our Times. Quill, 1993)

The Lighter Side of Punctuation
Dot Com: Hey Trey, we just picked up your birthday party invitations from the printer.
Tracy Jordan: Wait, what is this? "Give to charity, please. No presents."
Dot Com: Yeah, that's what you told me to put on the card.
Tracy Jordan: No, Dot Com. I said, "Give to charity? Please no. Presents!"
(Kevin Brown and Tracy Morgan in 30 Rock, January 26, 2012)

The Lighter Side of Spelling
Because of economic conditions, a famous English public school was obliged to raise its tuition fees. A letter informed parents of this fact stating that the increase would be £500 per annum, except, unfortunately, it was spelled per anum. An angry parent wrote to the headmaster of the school thanking him for the notification and saying, "For my part I would prefer to continue paying through the nose, as usual."
(Judson K. Cornelius, Literary Humour. Better Yourself Books, 2005)

More From the Lighter Side of Language:

Latest Notes From the Lighter Side of Language originally appeared on About.com Grammar & Composition on Friday, April 26th, 2013 at 00:04:28.

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